WOW, I have never considered myself a blogger but I am hoping to get outside my own mind and find peace with all the changes in my life over the past year plus. Most of my life has been about drastic professional changes and insane personal choices. I am not talking espionage or nervous breakdowns but plain old fashioned screwing the pooch and running scared. Nor do I want to bore anyone with my life story. I just want to talk about the past year or so.
I had a dream job. It wasn't really my dream job. When it was offered to me I took it to get away from a couple of bad situations. A job I hated, a boyfriend who annoyed me by just breathing and an Ex who to this day still crosses my mind every now and again. (The annoying boyfriend is long forgotten.) Conservation was a passion I inherited from the EX and made it my own cause. He taught me so much about hunting, conservation and managing wildlife. Thru him I meet lots of wonderful people and the passion grew to volunteering my time. Organizing events and making sure everyone has a good time is where my passion came out. I believed in getting women outside and showing them new ways to spend quality time with friends and family. This lead to my dream job, I was excited and scared and happy and just about any other possible positive emotion. I had a fresh new start in a new state and I was on Cloud 9!
I was getting to explore new places, meet new people and learn stuff I never knew I would love so much. It had its ups and downs but all in all it was the most awesome experience of my life till the economy and corporate thinking took it all away and left me wondering what t do next.
I took the summer off and played like a kid released from school thinking the whole time I would find a great job without much effort. The end of my summer of freedom came to an end and I was hit with reality! Jobs were hard to find and I was over qualified for most of them. I did find a part time job at the local courthouse and spent time working on events with the park director, my passion.
Now as we are in the heat of my second summer basically jobless I have taken a position with the local school system. I really like the job and I have learned you can live pretty cheap when you have too. Struggling has become a hobby and being broke an art form. I have learned about true friends and the way people act when they know you are barely making it. Lessons I had hoped to avoid. I have made some new friends and got closer to some old ones but it is difficult to determine who is being a friend and who thinks they should feel sorry for you.
I am confident it is all going to get better as long as I have faith! Losing everything and surviving it makes you a stronger person but it also softens you to the things that are important.
July 3, 2010